


now that the war is through with me

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Repressed Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1999746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier is still trying to understand his new self.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now that the war is through with me

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt at comment-fic on livejournal: Metallica's song "One."
> 
> Title is from the song lyric.

He catches himself breathing hard sometimes, lungs straining ( _he remembers a boy who could hardly breathe, remembers wrapping him in his arms until his gasps settled, 'til he breathed steady and true_ ).

He didn't use to lose his breath, and he wonders if he is falling apart, if his body only works right when strapped to a chair.

Eventually, he figures out that it is fear. Fear makes him breathe hard. 

Anger too. 

He's not used to it.

But now there's something inside him, roiling and violent and probably unstoppable. Like a snake growing a new skin, pushing off the old. It's taking over his body.

Making him weak. 

Making him gasp for air.

Making him remember the faces of the people he's killed.

He knows he's being hunted. By a man he used to know ( _didn't he used to be small, didn't he used to need you?)_. 

But also by the people who kept him. He thinks they must know that he's weak, that he can barely breathe when the sun glimmers wrong on a piece of metal, when a voice sounds too much like one that's gone.

So he keeps running. His lungs hurt, like knives sticking through his ribs, but he keeps going. His body is being taken over, and he's weak and confused and always in pain. But he doesn't want it to stop.


End file.
